Firstly, I gained the trust of supervisors and colleague. My ability at learning and completing task swiftly is recognised. I should be happy?
Maybe not.
Not when I am being dumped with more and more tasks to do while the other intern is slacking away.
Not when I am being asked to do things that any other person nearer can do. for example, I was asked to resolve copying issues when I am sure people who are seated just next to the machine will know it too ( I am seated all the way at the other end).
Not when expectations are set such that I work like a normal employee. I am just an intern who is paid a pathetic 600 dollars, less than half of the lowest paid in the department ( I am quite sure of this)
Not when original schedule of learning other tasks is postponed indefinitely because I am just too good to be true in the section. they are seriously in need of more man-power ( or woman if you feel offended).
Maybe I should talk to my supervisor about learning other things. Hopefully she will be in a good mood tomorrow and have low chance to encounter mood swing.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Death from overwork
Apparently, illness and death from overwork is very common in Japan. So much so that they actually developed a special term for it so that it will be easy to refer to. My gosh...
Hopefully Singapore will not go to that stage. Hm.... But looking at the way people in my attached company works, and if other companies are like that.. it may be possible that Singapore will face the problem of karoshi ( special term for death at work) in the future.
Is it really necessary to work to such an extent? Well, I do know some people derive satisfaction and happiness from work. I would think that it is not the case for karoshi. Get a real life man.... and woman. There is really not much chance of finishing work because there will always be work to be done. Moderation is the key to happiness and health.
Hopefully Singapore will not go to that stage. Hm.... But looking at the way people in my attached company works, and if other companies are like that.. it may be possible that Singapore will face the problem of karoshi ( special term for death at work) in the future.
Is it really necessary to work to such an extent? Well, I do know some people derive satisfaction and happiness from work. I would think that it is not the case for karoshi. Get a real life man.... and woman. There is really not much chance of finishing work because there will always be work to be done. Moderation is the key to happiness and health.
Monday, May 14, 2007
First day attachment
I cannot believe it. I thought I grew out of the stage. The stage where I can't sleep the night before. And it is because of attachment.
Fortunately, it did not rain when I was going to the company (even though it mr cloud was in bad, dark mood).
I was worried about how the people at the company will be like. Luckily, everyone I met so far was friendly, helpful and quite lenient on certain rules. And and there is another classmate under the same supervisor, which makes the work less boring (which can be very boring esp since nothing much to do initially).
Wonder how others are faring. I am under the department New Business Underwriting. It is an operation department. Sort of a go between for agents, actuarial department, marketing and sales, financial department. Sounds like fun. Hopefully will get to do more interesting and important task. haha..
Fortunately, it did not rain when I was going to the company (even though it mr cloud was in bad, dark mood).
I was worried about how the people at the company will be like. Luckily, everyone I met so far was friendly, helpful and quite lenient on certain rules. And and there is another classmate under the same supervisor, which makes the work less boring (which can be very boring esp since nothing much to do initially).
Wonder how others are faring. I am under the department New Business Underwriting. It is an operation department. Sort of a go between for agents, actuarial department, marketing and sales, financial department. Sounds like fun. Hopefully will get to do more interesting and important task. haha..
Friday, May 11, 2007
twist and turn of life
Fate had a way to play joke on helpless living beings.
In uni, there is an attachment programme. 2 supervisors will be assigned to a student where one will be from the organisation attached to, and one is a professor in uni.
There is nothing much to be said about the one from organisation since I would not know anyone from there. However, the professor from uni is quite interesting.
It appears that it is the same professor who fang fei gei on me and my friends. I was practically laughing at the irony of it. My trust for the professor is at bottom low. Now, I am supposed to entrust the professor into handling my attachment affair and problems. I am so going to hope that nothing unusual arises during my Attachment (nothing unusually bad, that is).
Attachment starting next week and will last for 10 weeks. However, most of the student feel that organisation take in students with low or no expectation, aka office boy/girl. Again, there is no way to verify this unless I am in it. Hope for the best... the best..
In uni, there is an attachment programme. 2 supervisors will be assigned to a student where one will be from the organisation attached to, and one is a professor in uni.
There is nothing much to be said about the one from organisation since I would not know anyone from there. However, the professor from uni is quite interesting.
It appears that it is the same professor who fang fei gei on me and my friends. I was practically laughing at the irony of it. My trust for the professor is at bottom low. Now, I am supposed to entrust the professor into handling my attachment affair and problems. I am so going to hope that nothing unusual arises during my Attachment (nothing unusually bad, that is).
Attachment starting next week and will last for 10 weeks. However, most of the student feel that organisation take in students with low or no expectation, aka office boy/girl. Again, there is no way to verify this unless I am in it. Hope for the best... the best..
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Home sick
Yes, I was literally sick when I am home. It all boils down to sleep deprivation.
I can't sleep with my parents because I will not be able to sleep with my father's snoring. I cannot sleep with m grandma because I am afraid that I will make sound and awaken her. Hence, I cannot sleep well in both the rooms for sleeping in my house. It got so bad that I have to resort to sleep downstairs in living room.
sigh.. now I am back in Singapore and recuperating. It sounds so weird. Normally people recuperate at home but I recuperate in a rented room. haih...
Fortunately, my short stay at home was enjoyable for my parents. Hahah.... we spent hours and hours watching the series - 天龙八部。naturally, I was bombarded with questions about who is the person in black, why they do that, what happen next etc etc... Fortunately, I read the story book more than 4 times and am able to remember the storyline. However, I kept mum on important things that will be a spoiler if I spill it too early.. haha...
I guess I did have quality time with parents. but not quantity. ah well... life is like that.
I can't sleep with my parents because I will not be able to sleep with my father's snoring. I cannot sleep with m grandma because I am afraid that I will make sound and awaken her. Hence, I cannot sleep well in both the rooms for sleeping in my house. It got so bad that I have to resort to sleep downstairs in living room.
sigh.. now I am back in Singapore and recuperating. It sounds so weird. Normally people recuperate at home but I recuperate in a rented room. haih...
Fortunately, my short stay at home was enjoyable for my parents. Hahah.... we spent hours and hours watching the series - 天龙八部。naturally, I was bombarded with questions about who is the person in black, why they do that, what happen next etc etc... Fortunately, I read the story book more than 4 times and am able to remember the storyline. However, I kept mum on important things that will be a spoiler if I spill it too early.. haha...
I guess I did have quality time with parents. but not quantity. ah well... life is like that.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
inhuman sessions
imagine you are in a class that teach stochastic.
Difficulty
Statistics < survival model < < stochastic.
And the official duration is 4 hours. First 2 hours lecture and last 2 hours tutorials.
However, changes were made and the session becomes a 4 hours lecture or 4 hours tutorial.
Then factor in overtime of 1 hour for lecture and half an hour for tutorial.
Can you take it?
Yes, my whole class (those that turned up ) go through a 5 hours lecture in the previous week. This week, it is a 4 and half hours tutorial.
Here is when you can begin to observe different behaviours. especially after the 3 hours mark.
Student A will eventually have a heavier head until it rest on the table. Then, the task of moisturising the table with saliva will begin.
Student B and C will demonstrate high difficulty action of sleeping while still in the position of copying answers on the board.
Student D and E fished out a whole bar of chocolate and start to munch away. And to increase the fun of eating, they bite off the chocolate and keep it in their mouth. Then, took a picture with tongue stuck out.
Then there will be the familiar sight of geniuses asking questions life no tomorrow. And fighting for a chance to do tutorials questions on the board.
not to forget the professor who is titanium built. He managed to give a 5 hours lecture (with a short break after first 2 hours). Oh, did I mention he was standing and at times was scribbling things ( that look foreign to most of the class except a few) on the board.
And there will be bullying of a pitiful guy at the back of the class....
Hahaha initially I wanted to write about how tiring and boring the class is.. Hm... it turned out to be interesting.. hehe... Ah well, thank goodness those decade long session has come to an end.... for now.....
Difficulty
Statistics < survival model < < stochastic.
And the official duration is 4 hours. First 2 hours lecture and last 2 hours tutorials.
However, changes were made and the session becomes a 4 hours lecture or 4 hours tutorial.
Then factor in overtime of 1 hour for lecture and half an hour for tutorial.
Can you take it?
Yes, my whole class (those that turned up ) go through a 5 hours lecture in the previous week. This week, it is a 4 and half hours tutorial.
Here is when you can begin to observe different behaviours. especially after the 3 hours mark.
Student A will eventually have a heavier head until it rest on the table. Then, the task of moisturising the table with saliva will begin.
Student B and C will demonstrate high difficulty action of sleeping while still in the position of copying answers on the board.
Student D and E fished out a whole bar of chocolate and start to munch away. And to increase the fun of eating, they bite off the chocolate and keep it in their mouth. Then, took a picture with tongue stuck out.
Then there will be the familiar sight of geniuses asking questions life no tomorrow. And fighting for a chance to do tutorials questions on the board.
not to forget the professor who is titanium built. He managed to give a 5 hours lecture (with a short break after first 2 hours). Oh, did I mention he was standing and at times was scribbling things ( that look foreign to most of the class except a few) on the board.
And there will be bullying of a pitiful guy at the back of the class....
Hahaha initially I wanted to write about how tiring and boring the class is.. Hm... it turned out to be interesting.. hehe... Ah well, thank goodness those decade long session has come to an end.... for now.....
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Stupid business practices
It is a wonder how some businesses manage to survive... I have 2 example to show
Well, firstly is about hair cut. Due to the fact that I will be going for professional attachment after my exam, I went for a hair cut. As I pass by a Malay barber shop, I saw many barbers sitting around chatting. But there was no price board that is significant enough to catch my attention.
When I was considering if I should get my hair cut there, a board caught my eye. It said unisex hair cut S$ 8. So I turn around and ask the group of malay male barbers there.
I said :' Gunting rambut berapa?' (how much for hair cut)
B replied :' sepuluh' (ten)
I asked :' tetapi sana gunting lapan dollar sahaja' (but that side cut only 8 dollars)
B said :' Kalau macam itu, pergilah gunting kat sana' ( if so, go cut there la)
So I went and got my hair cut for 8 dollars. After haircut, there is even a promotion where I will get a free hair cut if I cut for 10 times. (though I think this is bullshit. I cut once in 2 months.. 10 times? almost 2 years....). But the point is that, there is such a promotion, and lower price. I do not know what the other barber shop is thinking..
Another instance is about food. I was trying out a few stalls around my area. most of them have around the same price (2.7, 2.8,2.6). So after a while, I went to get my food at a vegetarian stall which sold me meal at 2.6. I took 3 dishes as per normal.
However, when I was paying for it, I thought I heard wrongly.... The lady there actually charged me for S$3.20. Ridiculously, it is even more expensive than normal meal with meat.
I am not trying to discriminate here, but her husband charged me 2.60..... Where the extra 60 cents come from?
I swear I am not going back to the barber shop and the vegetarian stall anymore.. stupid practices..
Well, firstly is about hair cut. Due to the fact that I will be going for professional attachment after my exam, I went for a hair cut. As I pass by a Malay barber shop, I saw many barbers sitting around chatting. But there was no price board that is significant enough to catch my attention.
When I was considering if I should get my hair cut there, a board caught my eye. It said unisex hair cut S$ 8. So I turn around and ask the group of malay male barbers there.
I said :' Gunting rambut berapa?' (how much for hair cut)
B replied :' sepuluh' (ten)
I asked :' tetapi sana gunting lapan dollar sahaja' (but that side cut only 8 dollars)
B said :' Kalau macam itu, pergilah gunting kat sana' ( if so, go cut there la)
So I went and got my hair cut for 8 dollars. After haircut, there is even a promotion where I will get a free hair cut if I cut for 10 times. (though I think this is bullshit. I cut once in 2 months.. 10 times? almost 2 years....). But the point is that, there is such a promotion, and lower price. I do not know what the other barber shop is thinking..
Another instance is about food. I was trying out a few stalls around my area. most of them have around the same price (2.7, 2.8,2.6). So after a while, I went to get my food at a vegetarian stall which sold me meal at 2.6. I took 3 dishes as per normal.
However, when I was paying for it, I thought I heard wrongly.... The lady there actually charged me for S$3.20. Ridiculously, it is even more expensive than normal meal with meat.
I am not trying to discriminate here, but her husband charged me 2.60..... Where the extra 60 cents come from?
I swear I am not going back to the barber shop and the vegetarian stall anymore.. stupid practices..
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
unexpected find
This morning, I was looking at the 2 pitiful arowana, apparently in state of hunger. As the owners came back yesterday, I assumed they bought the food for arowana.
Hence, I went to search for it (they usually put at one place if they want me to feed it). Then while I was searching, I notice something at one end. From far, it looked like vcds. So I thought that they gotten some not original vcd to watch. Then on closer inspection.....
Whoala!!! it appears to be movies where actresses and actors try to save on clothings.
And the owners stayed in their room for quite some time.. hm... Now I know what they were doing... LOL.....
Though I cannot figure out why they do not keep it in the master bedroom.
Hence, I went to search for it (they usually put at one place if they want me to feed it). Then while I was searching, I notice something at one end. From far, it looked like vcds. So I thought that they gotten some not original vcd to watch. Then on closer inspection.....
Whoala!!! it appears to be movies where actresses and actors try to save on clothings.
And the owners stayed in their room for quite some time.. hm... Now I know what they were doing... LOL.....
Though I cannot figure out why they do not keep it in the master bedroom.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
what could have been
A lot of people always think of 'what could have been'
I could have been a millionaire if I had taken that path...
I could have gotten better result if I had study better...
I could have been enjoying myself if I did not do that...
etc etc...
However, there is almost one thing in common. People always think that they are in a worse position than they could have been. The fact is, we are never satisfied with what we have. Why can't we think like....
I could have been worse off but I am better now
I could just be like those people who are broke...
etc...
Then we will feel better. Although it is not that nice to think of others as worse off than us. But I suppose if we don't do it blatantly, it would really help us feel happy, wouldn't it?
I remember watching a show quite a long time ago. They interviewed quite a number of elderly people in singapore who lived alone. I felt quite sad when they said that they do not have any other relatives. It is even worse when they said that their children never come and visit them. The disappointment is clearly reflected in their eyes.
Hence I was thinking of the current situation in singapore. Many parents nowadays left their children in the care of childcare, maid, their parents etc etc.. I was thinking that maybe they are focusing too much on the present need and neglecting the long term factor.
When a person grow old, I would think that he/she would very much to be in the company of family who love them. The best way to foster this love is when their children are small. I believe humans know who are good to them and treat them accordingly. I cannot bear to think of how the situation will be like 40 or 50 years down the road... When people do not feel so strongly attached to their parents.. sigh...
I could have been a millionaire if I had taken that path...
I could have gotten better result if I had study better...
I could have been enjoying myself if I did not do that...
etc etc...
However, there is almost one thing in common. People always think that they are in a worse position than they could have been. The fact is, we are never satisfied with what we have. Why can't we think like....
I could have been worse off but I am better now
I could just be like those people who are broke...
etc...
Then we will feel better. Although it is not that nice to think of others as worse off than us. But I suppose if we don't do it blatantly, it would really help us feel happy, wouldn't it?
I remember watching a show quite a long time ago. They interviewed quite a number of elderly people in singapore who lived alone. I felt quite sad when they said that they do not have any other relatives. It is even worse when they said that their children never come and visit them. The disappointment is clearly reflected in their eyes.
Hence I was thinking of the current situation in singapore. Many parents nowadays left their children in the care of childcare, maid, their parents etc etc.. I was thinking that maybe they are focusing too much on the present need and neglecting the long term factor.
When a person grow old, I would think that he/she would very much to be in the company of family who love them. The best way to foster this love is when their children are small. I believe humans know who are good to them and treat them accordingly. I cannot bear to think of how the situation will be like 40 or 50 years down the road... When people do not feel so strongly attached to their parents.. sigh...
Monday, March 26, 2007
I felt my eyes!!!
I do not know whether I should be laugh or cry..
It happen like this.
I woke up 4 days ago and looked into the mirror. hm.. there seems to be an insect bite at my nose. The position is just nice, in the sense that it is where my specs will rest on. It is not so bad. So I just ignored it and carry on doing what I should do.
second day. Oh my god. it is swollen (a bit) hurts a little when wear specs. I applied some oilment and took the advice of my mum (place hot towel on it). Then I went out to get contact lenses because such bites don heal so fast.
The next day.. 'who the hell glued my right eyes together!!!!' Alas, it appears that the swelling has spread to my right eye. So I got up at 6 am and planned to visit the doctor in the morning. After checking the opening hours of the clinic, I realised that they only open at 8.30 am.
at 8.30, I went to consult doctor. 'DA BLOODY CLINIC!!!!, waited like 2 1/2 hours!!!!' What is more, the doctor was not very willing to give information. Had to pry them out of him. Geez!!! He never even notice the swell has spreaded to my right eye.
So I guess I am stuck with 30 days of contact lenses. (min purchase is 30 days). Need a lot to get used to. Everytime I want to study, I will instinctively look for my specs then realised that I can see well. Of course there is the hassle of spending around 30 minutes to put them on in the first place ( I am still very noob at it). Furthermore, I normally bath many times per day. oh damn, cannot wear contacts when bathing.. sigh.. sigh.. I guess the landlord will be wondering at the lower water bill this month.. LOL....
It happen like this.
I woke up 4 days ago and looked into the mirror. hm.. there seems to be an insect bite at my nose. The position is just nice, in the sense that it is where my specs will rest on. It is not so bad. So I just ignored it and carry on doing what I should do.
second day. Oh my god. it is swollen (a bit) hurts a little when wear specs. I applied some oilment and took the advice of my mum (place hot towel on it). Then I went out to get contact lenses because such bites don heal so fast.
The next day.. 'who the hell glued my right eyes together!!!!' Alas, it appears that the swelling has spread to my right eye. So I got up at 6 am and planned to visit the doctor in the morning. After checking the opening hours of the clinic, I realised that they only open at 8.30 am.
at 8.30, I went to consult doctor. 'DA BLOODY CLINIC!!!!, waited like 2 1/2 hours!!!!' What is more, the doctor was not very willing to give information. Had to pry them out of him. Geez!!! He never even notice the swell has spreaded to my right eye.
So I guess I am stuck with 30 days of contact lenses. (min purchase is 30 days). Need a lot to get used to. Everytime I want to study, I will instinctively look for my specs then realised that I can see well. Of course there is the hassle of spending around 30 minutes to put them on in the first place ( I am still very noob at it). Furthermore, I normally bath many times per day. oh damn, cannot wear contacts when bathing.. sigh.. sigh.. I guess the landlord will be wondering at the lower water bill this month.. LOL....
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
dream girl?
I met my dream girl.. in my dream (duh).
I still remember the content of the dream. though I cannot remember clearly that face of the girl.. sigh... I remembered that she is slim, long hair, and not too tall. I swear that I nvr thought of anything related to the girl that appeared in my dreams. By the way, I never met the girl before.
In the dream, me and the girl loved each other very much. so much so that we cannot live without each other. SAdly, her parents voiced their strong objection. I still remember the pain that I felt in my heart. Then, I woke up.. sigh.. such a short dream. What happen after that? I have no idea.
If want to create story, I would say that me and the girl commited suicide and then promised to be together in the next life (got the idea from a story book I read in HSS library :P). hehe.. I think too much.
ah.... sleepy again.. been sleeping too much nowadays.. hoping to meet the dream girl .wahhaha
I still remember the content of the dream. though I cannot remember clearly that face of the girl.. sigh... I remembered that she is slim, long hair, and not too tall. I swear that I nvr thought of anything related to the girl that appeared in my dreams. By the way, I never met the girl before.
In the dream, me and the girl loved each other very much. so much so that we cannot live without each other. SAdly, her parents voiced their strong objection. I still remember the pain that I felt in my heart. Then, I woke up.. sigh.. such a short dream. What happen after that? I have no idea.
If want to create story, I would say that me and the girl commited suicide and then promised to be together in the next life (got the idea from a story book I read in HSS library :P). hehe.. I think too much.
ah.... sleepy again.. been sleeping too much nowadays.. hoping to meet the dream girl .wahhaha
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
great timing
Sigh.. just when many things are happening, I am ill. All because of the stupid weather. for the past few days, it was so hot, dry and there is no wind. Then today, it rained heavily.. Thus, I am down with fever and sore throat.
Just when I was planning to go back for qing ming. And new development is that my grand uncle is hovering on the edge of death, so they might go back earlier than this saturday. To complicate matter, there is a stochastic quiz next friday.
I had to leave class early ( 4 hours seminar) and skipped communication class after that because I felt so cold I was shivering, even with jacket on. Hence I walked to canteen and bought 2 packet of rice then headed home. I knew that there is no way I am going to walk out again in the evening to get dinner. My leg muscles are trying to make me feel numb of pain. SO I reached my rented place and start searching for panadol. Alas, there seems to be no trace of their existance. After dumping things around for a while, I found a row of tablet with just 2 left. God knows when I got them. Much to my joy, it appears to contain paracetamol. I just downed them, hopefully, they will work wonders for me.
Oh.. now my back start to ache.. sigh.. stupid illness
Just when I was planning to go back for qing ming. And new development is that my grand uncle is hovering on the edge of death, so they might go back earlier than this saturday. To complicate matter, there is a stochastic quiz next friday.
I had to leave class early ( 4 hours seminar) and skipped communication class after that because I felt so cold I was shivering, even with jacket on. Hence I walked to canteen and bought 2 packet of rice then headed home. I knew that there is no way I am going to walk out again in the evening to get dinner. My leg muscles are trying to make me feel numb of pain. SO I reached my rented place and start searching for panadol. Alas, there seems to be no trace of their existance. After dumping things around for a while, I found a row of tablet with just 2 left. God knows when I got them. Much to my joy, it appears to contain paracetamol. I just downed them, hopefully, they will work wonders for me.
Oh.. now my back start to ache.. sigh.. stupid illness
Sunday, March 11, 2007
old.. sob.. old...
I was happily cradling my packed food and bread, walking towards my block. Just before I went into the lift, I saw 2 kids riding bicycle, apparently wanting to get on the lift.
As a basic courtesy, I waited for them to get in. The younger one looked and me and said 'xie xie' (thank you).
I was thinking.. wow, such a good mannered kid.
When we reached 5th floor ( we stayed at same floor), the elder kid got out first. Then the younger one insisted I go out before him. My good impression of them increases. Then when I was walking off, one of them yelled 'xie xie' again. However, what happened next left me laughing. After that, he addressed me as 'uncle'!!!!
Man, I nearly stumbled and fell. Do I seriously loook that old? or is it that it is accurate to address people my age as uncle? hm... haih... cheers to the 'uncle'... lol
As a basic courtesy, I waited for them to get in. The younger one looked and me and said 'xie xie' (thank you).
I was thinking.. wow, such a good mannered kid.
When we reached 5th floor ( we stayed at same floor), the elder kid got out first. Then the younger one insisted I go out before him. My good impression of them increases. Then when I was walking off, one of them yelled 'xie xie' again. However, what happened next left me laughing. After that, he addressed me as 'uncle'!!!!
Man, I nearly stumbled and fell. Do I seriously loook that old? or is it that it is accurate to address people my age as uncle? hm... haih... cheers to the 'uncle'... lol
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Fragility and helplessness of life
Recently, I cannot help but to think that human are so helpless in the face of nature (or god ). No matter what we do, we will all die. It is quite sad that the inevitable thing is, we are all living a day less as we live each day. I cannot believe that my father is about to retire soon, I do not wish to believe. But there is no denying it. My parents are ageing, even more so for my grandma. It is disheartening.
When I talk to my grandma, she was so happy and tell me about her life last time, her other children and many other things. Then after some time, it struck me that she does not remember what she told me 40 minutes ago. She is repeating herself over... and over again. Her memory is failing her. Tears welled up in my eyes then and now too as I type this.
How can we live when we know that we will grow old, helpless, body ache everywhere, failing memory and health. When we will have to be dependent on other people once again when we are independent for so many years. Sometimes when I walk pass an old perso, I wonder what is on his/her mind. Where they are can only walk slowly and watch young people zeep pass them. When I sat waiting for bus, I see them having to rest at each and every bus stop that they come across before continuing their slow walk back.
The only thing that they can be happy about is if they have children and grandchildren that are successful and filial. Successful does not necesarry means earn a lot of money, success varies from person to person. I would think success is when a person can earn a living without resorting to unlawful means. Success is when their children are able to live independent and comfortable in the future.
To all the people who are reading this, think of what you want when you are old. If you are staying with your parents, be more considerate to them. Don't think that they are bothersome when they nag at you. They do it because they care for you. For those who are not staying with your parents, make a trip back and visit them more often.
I can feel and see that my parents are extremely happy when I go back and stay even for a few days. Similarly, I can see the disappointment clearly written on their face when I have to tell them that I ahve to go be back to Singapore. My heart wrenches when I know that my father took leave off to accompany me only to know that I have to go back to Singapore on the very first day of his leave. I'm sorry.... I'm very sorry.. I don't know how I can ever repay what my parents did for me, other then to live meaningfully. But deep in my heart, I know that it is just not enough. Nothing is ever enough.
I still can remember when I was around 7 years old. I was very sick, high fever, no appetite, no strength to walk. It was past mid-night, my area was not very developed, 24 hours clinic was not available. My father tried to make me feel better by carrying me, walking around and talking softly to me until I fell asleep. Even when I was an adult, the care from my parents never cease.
I was in uni hostel, I had high fever... so much so that I felt light headed and fall down when I was standing. I do not want parents to worry so I did not tell them, but they called and found out I was very sick. On that very same night, they drove over and fetch me back so they can take care of me. My mum even took leave to take care of me.
Me and my brothers are in singapore working and studying. My parents are afraid that we do not get good food to eat. Hence, every Sunday, my mum will wake up at 5.30am to cook fish, my father will make carrot juice. Then they will drive over with other fruits, biscuits, and other basic necessities. I feel bad when I see my parents and they have the tire look in their eyes. I feel even worse when their tiredness are quickly washed away when they see me and my brothers. I swear I will take every opportunity to go back and visit them whenever I can.
I can never repay what they did for me, ever......
Sigh.. things will be much more simple if humans are without emotion. But then, it will be a sad thing too. nothing can ever be perfect
When I talk to my grandma, she was so happy and tell me about her life last time, her other children and many other things. Then after some time, it struck me that she does not remember what she told me 40 minutes ago. She is repeating herself over... and over again. Her memory is failing her. Tears welled up in my eyes then and now too as I type this.
How can we live when we know that we will grow old, helpless, body ache everywhere, failing memory and health. When we will have to be dependent on other people once again when we are independent for so many years. Sometimes when I walk pass an old perso, I wonder what is on his/her mind. Where they are can only walk slowly and watch young people zeep pass them. When I sat waiting for bus, I see them having to rest at each and every bus stop that they come across before continuing their slow walk back.
The only thing that they can be happy about is if they have children and grandchildren that are successful and filial. Successful does not necesarry means earn a lot of money, success varies from person to person. I would think success is when a person can earn a living without resorting to unlawful means. Success is when their children are able to live independent and comfortable in the future.
To all the people who are reading this, think of what you want when you are old. If you are staying with your parents, be more considerate to them. Don't think that they are bothersome when they nag at you. They do it because they care for you. For those who are not staying with your parents, make a trip back and visit them more often.
I can feel and see that my parents are extremely happy when I go back and stay even for a few days. Similarly, I can see the disappointment clearly written on their face when I have to tell them that I ahve to go be back to Singapore. My heart wrenches when I know that my father took leave off to accompany me only to know that I have to go back to Singapore on the very first day of his leave. I'm sorry.... I'm very sorry.. I don't know how I can ever repay what my parents did for me, other then to live meaningfully. But deep in my heart, I know that it is just not enough. Nothing is ever enough.
I still can remember when I was around 7 years old. I was very sick, high fever, no appetite, no strength to walk. It was past mid-night, my area was not very developed, 24 hours clinic was not available. My father tried to make me feel better by carrying me, walking around and talking softly to me until I fell asleep. Even when I was an adult, the care from my parents never cease.
I was in uni hostel, I had high fever... so much so that I felt light headed and fall down when I was standing. I do not want parents to worry so I did not tell them, but they called and found out I was very sick. On that very same night, they drove over and fetch me back so they can take care of me. My mum even took leave to take care of me.
Me and my brothers are in singapore working and studying. My parents are afraid that we do not get good food to eat. Hence, every Sunday, my mum will wake up at 5.30am to cook fish, my father will make carrot juice. Then they will drive over with other fruits, biscuits, and other basic necessities. I feel bad when I see my parents and they have the tire look in their eyes. I feel even worse when their tiredness are quickly washed away when they see me and my brothers. I swear I will take every opportunity to go back and visit them whenever I can.
I can never repay what they did for me, ever......
Sigh.. things will be much more simple if humans are without emotion. But then, it will be a sad thing too. nothing can ever be perfect
Thursday, February 15, 2007
group bad luck
I always have bad luck with groups. And it seems that it is not about to stop now. Though previous times,.. the end result was good.
This time, my Final Year Project group went to do
research on potential topics,
emailed professors,
made phone calls to professors,
made appointment with professors ,
knocked on professors' door many times (most of the time professors not in),
Discussed topics with professors,
listen to professors' counter proposal,
Analysed each professor and their topic,
Decided on professor and topic
Went to talk to him again
confirmed with him that we are doing with him
happily go to register on website
Only to find an email from the professors after few days telling us that he promised another group beforehand...
And we rejected another good professor already... now left nowhere... WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
This time, my Final Year Project group went to do
research on potential topics,
emailed professors,
made phone calls to professors,
made appointment with professors ,
knocked on professors' door many times (most of the time professors not in),
Discussed topics with professors,
listen to professors' counter proposal,
Analysed each professor and their topic,
Decided on professor and topic
Went to talk to him again
confirmed with him that we are doing with him
happily go to register on website
Only to find an email from the professors after few days telling us that he promised another group beforehand...
And we rejected another good professor already... now left nowhere... WTF!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Professor mind set?
How will you define a hard question?
Is it a question that need a clear understanding of what was taught?
or is it the professors' idea of questions that involve things that were not taught at all?
THAT is the whole problem. Ever since last semester, it is a frustrating experience when attempting to do tutorials. There will be terms, methods, relationships etc that students were not taught.
Then the professor will come happily for seminar and give a lecture. After that, he will discuss the previous tutorial of previous lecture. When he was explaining a hard question that students cannot do, he will say some things that make students feel even worse .Eg: 'eh? why you cannot do? but I just mentioned in the lecture just now.' Got the point? a tutorial which was supposed to be based on previous week's lecture, have concepts that were only taught in this week.
The worst thing is that there will always be some mysterious creature (definitely not human) who will be able to obtain a solution to the questions.
URGH!!!!! damn it. I may have to execute my own study style and quit following what others are doing... sigh.....
Is it a question that need a clear understanding of what was taught?
or is it the professors' idea of questions that involve things that were not taught at all?
THAT is the whole problem. Ever since last semester, it is a frustrating experience when attempting to do tutorials. There will be terms, methods, relationships etc that students were not taught.
Then the professor will come happily for seminar and give a lecture. After that, he will discuss the previous tutorial of previous lecture. When he was explaining a hard question that students cannot do, he will say some things that make students feel even worse .Eg: 'eh? why you cannot do? but I just mentioned in the lecture just now.' Got the point? a tutorial which was supposed to be based on previous week's lecture, have concepts that were only taught in this week.
The worst thing is that there will always be some mysterious creature (definitely not human) who will be able to obtain a solution to the questions.
URGH!!!!! damn it. I may have to execute my own study style and quit following what others are doing... sigh.....
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Path of torture
Yes indeed. I walked the path that few take. (reminds me of English literature, Form 5, haha....)
Carrot juice at dinner +
5 banana after dinner +
jogging with ankle weights
= ?
A smelly business.
A disaster when you not near a toilet (or a bush, depends on where you are or rather, what time period you are from.. hehe)
Hell, when you are in a civilised country with many people around and toilet are nowhere in sight.
For those who know the place, it is from SRC NTU to Jurong West sports complex. That will be known to me as path of torture from now on..
It is another test of mental (and bowel) strength.
It is a battle between temptation and sanity
It is a ultimate test of civilisation
It is
.
.
.
(and the list goes on :P)
Well, I made it back thru self-hypnotize..
'I am nothing
'since I am nothing, I cannot feel anything'
Ah well, enough of it already. Hope there will not be a third experience for me
Carrot juice at dinner +
5 banana after dinner +
jogging with ankle weights
= ?
A smelly business.
A disaster when you not near a toilet (or a bush, depends on where you are or rather, what time period you are from.. hehe)
Hell, when you are in a civilised country with many people around and toilet are nowhere in sight.
For those who know the place, it is from SRC NTU to Jurong West sports complex. That will be known to me as path of torture from now on..
It is another test of mental (and bowel) strength.
It is a battle between temptation and sanity
It is a ultimate test of civilisation
It is
.
.
.
(and the list goes on :P)
Well, I made it back thru self-hypnotize..
'I am nothing
'since I am nothing, I cannot feel anything'
Ah well, enough of it already. Hope there will not be a third experience for me
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