I keep telling myself that I am fine, that I can live as normal people do.
But truth is always harsh. It has proven me wrong again.
I am so sick and tired of telling everyone again and again about my condition. Not that I wanted others to pity me. Just that I do not want them to misunderstand me when I responded in a weird way during conversation.
I hate to sit on the right side. I hate to be in a noisy place. I hate to see the look that says :" gosh why am I talking to you? you don't even reply to my sentence. This is a waste of my time". I hate it. I hate it. HATE IT!!
I have been trying all I can to try to live with it. Turning all the way to the left when someone on my left is speaking. Guessing what they are talking about by looking at their lips. Avoid situation where I have to sit on the right side. Avoid going to noisy places. But sometimes, it is just not enough.
Hence, there is a higher chance that I am misunderstood as not paying attention, snoobish, slow, blur.... To reduce the chance of it occuring, I am quiet during gathering so that people will not talk to me. Yeah, I am a quiet person with nothing much to talk about. So don't bother talking to me. At least this is quiet is better than cause misunderstanding.
Oh, there is one more thing I hate. Driving car and chatting at the same time, since driver seat is at the right side. If I am chatting, I'll have to turn to the left, my eyes will be busy trying to guess words by looking at lips movement. No, I was not involved in accident before, fortunately.
If words of a specialist is true, I will have to live with this all my life. All my life.. Will the situation becomes better?? Maybe it will. That is if I wear a huge signboard saying that "I am partially deaf, Do not be offended". Well, maybe a small paper stuck on my forehead will be more subtle. Or should I just plug earphones into my ear all the times?
周围的人们在欢笑，
说着笑话唱着歌，
谈天说地多自在。
可是我，无奈的我；
只能一个人，
默默的扮演我的角色；
哑巴的角色，
聋子的角色。
期待能融入快乐的人们；
却只能永远，
做哑剧的观众。
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Death?
I had a dream..... Usually dreams are forgotten when a person wakes up. But not this dream. It is etched deep in my mind....
It all started in the house of my mother's father in a village. My family was there for a visit I suppose. And I was cleaning ladder with a brush in the toilet(why cleaning? why ladder? hm..)
Then as I was cleaning the ladder, the scene switched to me cleaning a head in the toilet. Yes, just a head. The funny thing is I do not feel afraid then, like it was a normal thing. The head belonged to my mum's father who passed away. The interesting thing is that the head was chattering away. This continues for some time until the head turned (how to turn without neck? no idea) towards me and said:" you can see me? you are dead??!!".
That was when my fear and uneasiness sets in. I dare not turn to look behind me because I was afraid of what I might see (my body lying on the floor). I was terrified. Suddenly, I saw my eldest brother at the entrance to the toilet. I knew then that he cannot see me or hear me but I wanted him to help me. So I banged against the toilet door. I saw him looked inside the toilet but the toilet was dark. He moved closer as my fear deepens............
And POOF!!!! I woke up.... What a dream.. This is the second time I dreamt of such things happening in that house which has been empty for a long time since my grandma moved and stay in my home. The previous time was the feeling of evil presence in the place..
Have I been watching too much "Ghost Whisperer"? LOL
It all started in the house of my mother's father in a village. My family was there for a visit I suppose. And I was cleaning ladder with a brush in the toilet(why cleaning? why ladder? hm..)
Then as I was cleaning the ladder, the scene switched to me cleaning a head in the toilet. Yes, just a head. The funny thing is I do not feel afraid then, like it was a normal thing. The head belonged to my mum's father who passed away. The interesting thing is that the head was chattering away. This continues for some time until the head turned (how to turn without neck? no idea) towards me and said:" you can see me? you are dead??!!".
That was when my fear and uneasiness sets in. I dare not turn to look behind me because I was afraid of what I might see (my body lying on the floor). I was terrified. Suddenly, I saw my eldest brother at the entrance to the toilet. I knew then that he cannot see me or hear me but I wanted him to help me. So I banged against the toilet door. I saw him looked inside the toilet but the toilet was dark. He moved closer as my fear deepens............
And POOF!!!! I woke up.... What a dream.. This is the second time I dreamt of such things happening in that house which has been empty for a long time since my grandma moved and stay in my home. The previous time was the feeling of evil presence in the place..
Have I been watching too much "Ghost Whisperer"? LOL
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
secured feelings?
I have heard and read about how people feel unsafe with the presence of foreign workers. I did not quite believe it, until today.
I was queueing up for bus behind a cute girl. As people began to board the bus, I notice that there was a foreign worker who stared blatantly at the girl in front of me. If I were in her position, I would feel uncomfortable too.
However, I do sympathise with the worker's position. Working long hours, away from wife and children. It could get lonely I suppose. But to stare at opposite gender in such a blatant way... is just not right.
My respect for females that was given this treatment and yet managed it well.
I was queueing up for bus behind a cute girl. As people began to board the bus, I notice that there was a foreign worker who stared blatantly at the girl in front of me. If I were in her position, I would feel uncomfortable too.
However, I do sympathise with the worker's position. Working long hours, away from wife and children. It could get lonely I suppose. But to stare at opposite gender in such a blatant way... is just not right.
My respect for females that was given this treatment and yet managed it well.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Living in stories..
'Sheng! get ready! We are going off to Library.'
Such calls are not uncommon to hear when I was small. It was a routine every two weeks for each library. Me and my brothers will be packed into the car and travelled 40 minutes to libraries. There were 2 libraries that we frequented. One near town and another in industrial area.
I was fortunate to have parents who are well aware of the importance of reading. Hence we were members of 2 libraries. Each membership allows loan of 3 books for 2 weeks. So in total there will be 21 books from both libraries. I never really enjoyed reading when I was small. But I enjoyed the praise that I received from my mum when I passed the test. The test is to give a summary of what the book I read was about verbally. Normally, this is done when my mum was doing laundry.
When I grow up, I started to like reading and hating it at the same time.
I like it because it is a real pleasure to be able to read an interesting story that has an original theme. I frequently lost track of time when I had a good story to read. I could continue reading from the moment I am awake until I force myself to sleep late at night.
For me, reading is an important way to to relieve stress or any other negative feelings that I have.
However, all this reading is causing me lots of problem. Firstly, it is getting harder and harder to find good stories that is interesting and have a sense of humour and has original theme at the same time. Another thing is my addiction to reading which caused me to waste valuable time which I should be using to do tutorials and studies.
But I cannot help it. The story world is too interesting. Every emotion can be found in stories.. happiness, cheekiness, .... I so wish to have endless supplies of good stories to read.
stories... my life....
Such calls are not uncommon to hear when I was small. It was a routine every two weeks for each library. Me and my brothers will be packed into the car and travelled 40 minutes to libraries. There were 2 libraries that we frequented. One near town and another in industrial area.
I was fortunate to have parents who are well aware of the importance of reading. Hence we were members of 2 libraries. Each membership allows loan of 3 books for 2 weeks. So in total there will be 21 books from both libraries. I never really enjoyed reading when I was small. But I enjoyed the praise that I received from my mum when I passed the test. The test is to give a summary of what the book I read was about verbally. Normally, this is done when my mum was doing laundry.
When I grow up, I started to like reading and hating it at the same time.
I like it because it is a real pleasure to be able to read an interesting story that has an original theme. I frequently lost track of time when I had a good story to read. I could continue reading from the moment I am awake until I force myself to sleep late at night.
For me, reading is an important way to to relieve stress or any other negative feelings that I have.
However, all this reading is causing me lots of problem. Firstly, it is getting harder and harder to find good stories that is interesting and have a sense of humour and has original theme at the same time. Another thing is my addiction to reading which caused me to waste valuable time which I should be using to do tutorials and studies.
But I cannot help it. The story world is too interesting. Every emotion can be found in stories.. happiness, cheekiness, .... I so wish to have endless supplies of good stories to read.
stories... my life....
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Invisible Prison
I realised that I was in prison and may still be in it for some time.
A prison that confined my and block my interaction with people around me.
A prison that was set up unintentionally by myself.
which was influenced by the environment that I am in.
where I lived alone in the whole unit.
I got so used of being alone that I forgot what it is like to be in a group. sigh..
Maybe it is because of survival instinct.
Many things I do are viewed upon as weird.
Eg: Looi Sing!!! you know how to sew? Are you sure you are a guy?
(the thing is, since sec school, both parents busy working. If I do not learn to do it myself I would have not enough uniform to wear.. )
Eg: Why you so quiet?
(since pri 6, I have been lonely. brothers all in different sessions. parents all working. During that time I was afraid of thunderstorm. Especially when lightning caused a blackout.. I hugged my legs and sit in a corner for hours until the sky lights up or parents come back. I had to get use to loneliness, quietness hopelessness, etc etc to survive.)
Ah well, but all those are over. I shall open up more!!!
A prison that confined my and block my interaction with people around me.
A prison that was set up unintentionally by myself.
which was influenced by the environment that I am in.
where I lived alone in the whole unit.
I got so used of being alone that I forgot what it is like to be in a group. sigh..
Maybe it is because of survival instinct.
Many things I do are viewed upon as weird.
Eg: Looi Sing!!! you know how to sew? Are you sure you are a guy?
(the thing is, since sec school, both parents busy working. If I do not learn to do it myself I would have not enough uniform to wear.. )
Eg: Why you so quiet?
(since pri 6, I have been lonely. brothers all in different sessions. parents all working. During that time I was afraid of thunderstorm. Especially when lightning caused a blackout.. I hugged my legs and sit in a corner for hours until the sky lights up or parents come back. I had to get use to loneliness, quietness hopelessness, etc etc to survive.)
Ah well, but all those are over. I shall open up more!!!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Are we living happily?
When I watch tv programme, I pay special attention to the eyes of the celebrities and hosts. I noticed that many of them have eyes that speaks of boredom, tiredness, unhappiness. This observation is not limited to celebrities. It is fairly easy to see people with dark eye rings dozing off in MRT. If one is more observant, it is easy to see that many people have unconsciously wear the worried look all the time.
Are we living our life happily? I wonder.....
Are we living our life happily? I wonder.....
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
The End
So it ends. Much like everything else, there is always an end. Such is the same for my attachment.
I must admit that I felt a little bit sad that I cannot join my ex-colleagues in their fight with the papers and documents. Not that I like the job a lot. It is the people.
Hard to believe? a month ago I was still cursing and swearing about the people and now I kind of miss them. The only reason is because I learnt about ways to handle people. I even went and bought a book on ways to handle difficult people. It helped. A month ago, they will be insulted or angry if I tell them about a mistake they made. But towards the end, they are able to accept it well and even apologise sincerely.
Why? because I made them my friends. We were able to joke, laugh and make fun of each other. All because I change the way I interact with them. Different people, Different time, Different mood all requires different ways of handling. I would say that I managed to find that way successfully. (Of course, the occasional treat of cakes and puffs help)
The end of one thing, is only the beginning of another. Now I have to come up with a report on the attachment. I must admit that I do not really like to write a report. But then again, who likes it anyway. .. LOL...
I must admit that I felt a little bit sad that I cannot join my ex-colleagues in their fight with the papers and documents. Not that I like the job a lot. It is the people.
Hard to believe? a month ago I was still cursing and swearing about the people and now I kind of miss them. The only reason is because I learnt about ways to handle people. I even went and bought a book on ways to handle difficult people. It helped. A month ago, they will be insulted or angry if I tell them about a mistake they made. But towards the end, they are able to accept it well and even apologise sincerely.
Why? because I made them my friends. We were able to joke, laugh and make fun of each other. All because I change the way I interact with them. Different people, Different time, Different mood all requires different ways of handling. I would say that I managed to find that way successfully. (Of course, the occasional treat of cakes and puffs help)
The end of one thing, is only the beginning of another. Now I have to come up with a report on the attachment. I must admit that I do not really like to write a report. But then again, who likes it anyway. .. LOL...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Crazy person in a crazy village
Don't know if any of you heard about the story.
It goes like this...
Long long time ago... ( as always)
There was a man who came back to his village after working for a long time in the city.
..............
.............
.............
In short, he is a normal person. However, everyone around him is not of the right mind. So he was treated as a crazy person by the other villagers.
Recently, I heard and saw things that made me have the same feeling as the man mentioned above.
Incident 1....
Most of my colleague are chinese speaking except for one. Well, apparently they have a sense that their chinese level is superior than Malaysian counterpart. So they teased me again and again without any regard for my delicate heart. However, their chinese is even worse than mine in terms of usage of words. I was so close at blurting out that they are wrong but I stopped myself. Why? Because my superiors also using making the mistake. Furthermore, the mistake is so common that it has become a norm in this society where it will be a mistake for me to even say that it is a mistake (hm...seems to be hard to understand.. lol)
Incident 2.....
A said : You know ar... I met this very rude lady in the Mrt.
B replied : Why? What happened?
A :Well, it was very crowded in the mrt and I was standing at the door. Then when the mrt reach a stop, this lady ask me to give way and said that I should be more automatic in doing it without being asked to. She is so rude!!! I was waiting for people to say excuse me then I give way ma.
My Question to A (which I did not ask since everyone who is around me agree with A)..
1. Mrt doors are meant for people to enter and exit is it not?
2. It is highly possible that there will be people boarding and unboarding mrt at each stop right?
3. They have to use the door right?
4. Given the situation, is it not clear that A should be expecting to give way for people to board and unboard mrt?
I don't know. For me, even if I am not standing at the door, even if I am closing my eyes to rest, I would just take a while to see if people around me is getting off and if I am blocking their way or if I get a seat, if there is other people who needs the seat more than I do (elderly people, pregnant women etc)
I don't understand it. Is it because the country is so well managed by government that people take things for granted? Is it because majority rules hence everything they do they think is right?... well well.... this is so wrong..
It goes like this...
Long long time ago... ( as always)
There was a man who came back to his village after working for a long time in the city.
..............
.............
.............
In short, he is a normal person. However, everyone around him is not of the right mind. So he was treated as a crazy person by the other villagers.
Recently, I heard and saw things that made me have the same feeling as the man mentioned above.
Incident 1....
Most of my colleague are chinese speaking except for one. Well, apparently they have a sense that their chinese level is superior than Malaysian counterpart. So they teased me again and again without any regard for my delicate heart. However, their chinese is even worse than mine in terms of usage of words. I was so close at blurting out that they are wrong but I stopped myself. Why? Because my superiors also using making the mistake. Furthermore, the mistake is so common that it has become a norm in this society where it will be a mistake for me to even say that it is a mistake (hm...seems to be hard to understand.. lol)
Incident 2.....
A said : You know ar... I met this very rude lady in the Mrt.
B replied : Why? What happened?
A :Well, it was very crowded in the mrt and I was standing at the door. Then when the mrt reach a stop, this lady ask me to give way and said that I should be more automatic in doing it without being asked to. She is so rude!!! I was waiting for people to say excuse me then I give way ma.
My Question to A (which I did not ask since everyone who is around me agree with A)..
1. Mrt doors are meant for people to enter and exit is it not?
2. It is highly possible that there will be people boarding and unboarding mrt at each stop right?
3. They have to use the door right?
4. Given the situation, is it not clear that A should be expecting to give way for people to board and unboard mrt?
I don't know. For me, even if I am not standing at the door, even if I am closing my eyes to rest, I would just take a while to see if people around me is getting off and if I am blocking their way or if I get a seat, if there is other people who needs the seat more than I do (elderly people, pregnant women etc)
I don't understand it. Is it because the country is so well managed by government that people take things for granted? Is it because majority rules hence everything they do they think is right?... well well.... this is so wrong..
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Another failed attempt at finding my angel
Sigh, when will I ever find the one.....
It all sound like right, except that the girl is not exactly what I wanted......
She is in the same uni but different course as I am. We are doing our attachment in the same company.
She have some tasks that require her to come to the department I am in. We are from same country.
So it starts.....
It is 6pm. As a person who is very punctual, I left work at exactly 6pm. As usual, I walk at my pace which is slightly faster than other people. Which is a very good pace since I will be able to see more people along the way (meaning higher chances of seeing pretty gal, which I did quite a few times. but I shall not elaborate on it). Then I notice a person who looks very familiar in front of me. Hence I walked up to her and had conversation with her.
(from here onwards. shall switch to point form to save time and space... :) )
She wanted to check her mobile phone contract status so I accompanied her since it is on the way and there was no queue.
Boarded mrt and chatting.
Got off at the same station and decided in a indirect way that it is quite a good idea to have dinner together. ( of course, it is a pay separately type since not my gf and I am poor)
After dinner, best time to get to know each other. So we did more talking.
Decided that she is not my angel based on her thinking and mind set, character.
Sounds very detached? Maybe. But it is very hard to maintain love in the long term. So I think that for life partner, finding someone that I can be comfortable with even when there is no love, is important. Hm... This is potentially debatable.. oh well.. hahaha
It all sound like right, except that the girl is not exactly what I wanted......
She is in the same uni but different course as I am. We are doing our attachment in the same company.
She have some tasks that require her to come to the department I am in. We are from same country.
So it starts.....
It is 6pm. As a person who is very punctual, I left work at exactly 6pm. As usual, I walk at my pace which is slightly faster than other people. Which is a very good pace since I will be able to see more people along the way (meaning higher chances of seeing pretty gal, which I did quite a few times. but I shall not elaborate on it). Then I notice a person who looks very familiar in front of me. Hence I walked up to her and had conversation with her.
(from here onwards. shall switch to point form to save time and space... :) )
She wanted to check her mobile phone contract status so I accompanied her since it is on the way and there was no queue.
Boarded mrt and chatting.
Got off at the same station and decided in a indirect way that it is quite a good idea to have dinner together. ( of course, it is a pay separately type since not my gf and I am poor)
After dinner, best time to get to know each other. So we did more talking.
Decided that she is not my angel based on her thinking and mind set, character.
Sounds very detached? Maybe. But it is very hard to maintain love in the long term. So I think that for life partner, finding someone that I can be comfortable with even when there is no love, is important. Hm... This is potentially debatable.. oh well.. hahaha
Saturday, June 30, 2007
work? battleground
I have already into the second half of my attachment period. Up until now, it has been a good training for me.
I have been blamed for various things, some rightfully blamed while some are downright outrageous. Some blames are purposefully directed at me by some who appeared friendly and helpful.
I have been asked to do various tasks. Some are things that will help me learn, while most tasks are passed to me by other colleagues so that they can slack.
If I do not handle it well, I will be working until I pant like a dog after a 10km run and fuming mad like a dragon awakened from its sleep. Sometimes I will feel so dejected after work that my steps are heavy. Fortunately, I still manage to pull myself together for work on the next working day.
Work? I am not sure if I am ready for it. Not if the team that I will be working with are not efficient and when there is no accountability.
I have been blamed for various things, some rightfully blamed while some are downright outrageous. Some blames are purposefully directed at me by some who appeared friendly and helpful.
I have been asked to do various tasks. Some are things that will help me learn, while most tasks are passed to me by other colleagues so that they can slack.
If I do not handle it well, I will be working until I pant like a dog after a 10km run and fuming mad like a dragon awakened from its sleep. Sometimes I will feel so dejected after work that my steps are heavy. Fortunately, I still manage to pull myself together for work on the next working day.
Work? I am not sure if I am ready for it. Not if the team that I will be working with are not efficient and when there is no accountability.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Helping the needy. Is it really helping?
Beggars exists everywhere. Even in the richest country or a country with good social support system. How true.. I would say that it is a common sight to see people who try to get some money from our kindness. Some are really in a pitiful state and they are trying hard to show others that. We will see beggars with lost limb or limbs, and various other disabilities. Long time ago, I will not hesitate to fork out some change to give them. Now, I hesitate...
Am I really helping them by giving them money? This is similar to a story...
You feed a man a fish and he is fed once
You teach a man to fish and he is fed a lifetime.
When we are giving money to beggars, we are actually feeding them fish. They may get to live now, but what about the future? There is a high chance that they will be dependent on society's kindness to survive.
I did a mental calculation on how much a beggar actually gets. Although I always lament at how people in this country do not have courtesy and manners, I must admit that there is a fair number who are willing to donate money ( just look at the number of charity shows organised in a year. It is amazing). Assuming that a beggar pick a spot at a busy mrt station. The number of people passing by can easily reach a staggering 400. lets say one in every 40 people donate an average of 50 cents. That gives 5 dollars. Now all the info here are extremely conservative. Even so, there will be enough food to eat for days.... one if you want normal food (mixed rice). And what do they do? nothing much except to swallow their pride. However, my observation tells me that their pride is long gone. They are quite happy to beg.
Of course, not all are like that. Some are really in need. But I am sure there are other ways to seek help other than be beggars. Now and then, we hear about companies hiring disable people to work. It is not impossible to work when disabled. It is just about whether a person is willing to do so or not. Of course, I cannot fully understand how it is like to be disabled since I am only slightly disabled. But I believe that other people cannot help forever, only we can help ourselves.
Am I really helping them by giving them money? This is similar to a story...
You feed a man a fish and he is fed once
You teach a man to fish and he is fed a lifetime.
When we are giving money to beggars, we are actually feeding them fish. They may get to live now, but what about the future? There is a high chance that they will be dependent on society's kindness to survive.
I did a mental calculation on how much a beggar actually gets. Although I always lament at how people in this country do not have courtesy and manners, I must admit that there is a fair number who are willing to donate money ( just look at the number of charity shows organised in a year. It is amazing). Assuming that a beggar pick a spot at a busy mrt station. The number of people passing by can easily reach a staggering 400. lets say one in every 40 people donate an average of 50 cents. That gives 5 dollars. Now all the info here are extremely conservative. Even so, there will be enough food to eat for days.... one if you want normal food (mixed rice). And what do they do? nothing much except to swallow their pride. However, my observation tells me that their pride is long gone. They are quite happy to beg.
Of course, not all are like that. Some are really in need. But I am sure there are other ways to seek help other than be beggars. Now and then, we hear about companies hiring disable people to work. It is not impossible to work when disabled. It is just about whether a person is willing to do so or not. Of course, I cannot fully understand how it is like to be disabled since I am only slightly disabled. But I believe that other people cannot help forever, only we can help ourselves.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Attachment progress
Firstly, I gained the trust of supervisors and colleague. My ability at learning and completing task swiftly is recognised. I should be happy?
Maybe not.
Not when I am being dumped with more and more tasks to do while the other intern is slacking away.
Not when I am being asked to do things that any other person nearer can do. for example, I was asked to resolve copying issues when I am sure people who are seated just next to the machine will know it too ( I am seated all the way at the other end).
Not when expectations are set such that I work like a normal employee. I am just an intern who is paid a pathetic 600 dollars, less than half of the lowest paid in the department ( I am quite sure of this)
Not when original schedule of learning other tasks is postponed indefinitely because I am just too good to be true in the section. they are seriously in need of more man-power ( or woman if you feel offended).
Maybe I should talk to my supervisor about learning other things. Hopefully she will be in a good mood tomorrow and have low chance to encounter mood swing.
Maybe not.
Not when I am being dumped with more and more tasks to do while the other intern is slacking away.
Not when I am being asked to do things that any other person nearer can do. for example, I was asked to resolve copying issues when I am sure people who are seated just next to the machine will know it too ( I am seated all the way at the other end).
Not when expectations are set such that I work like a normal employee. I am just an intern who is paid a pathetic 600 dollars, less than half of the lowest paid in the department ( I am quite sure of this)
Not when original schedule of learning other tasks is postponed indefinitely because I am just too good to be true in the section. they are seriously in need of more man-power ( or woman if you feel offended).
Maybe I should talk to my supervisor about learning other things. Hopefully she will be in a good mood tomorrow and have low chance to encounter mood swing.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Death from overwork
Apparently, illness and death from overwork is very common in Japan. So much so that they actually developed a special term for it so that it will be easy to refer to. My gosh...
Hopefully Singapore will not go to that stage. Hm.... But looking at the way people in my attached company works, and if other companies are like that.. it may be possible that Singapore will face the problem of karoshi ( special term for death at work) in the future.
Is it really necessary to work to such an extent? Well, I do know some people derive satisfaction and happiness from work. I would think that it is not the case for karoshi. Get a real life man.... and woman. There is really not much chance of finishing work because there will always be work to be done. Moderation is the key to happiness and health.
Hopefully Singapore will not go to that stage. Hm.... But looking at the way people in my attached company works, and if other companies are like that.. it may be possible that Singapore will face the problem of karoshi ( special term for death at work) in the future.
Is it really necessary to work to such an extent? Well, I do know some people derive satisfaction and happiness from work. I would think that it is not the case for karoshi. Get a real life man.... and woman. There is really not much chance of finishing work because there will always be work to be done. Moderation is the key to happiness and health.
Monday, May 14, 2007
First day attachment
I cannot believe it. I thought I grew out of the stage. The stage where I can't sleep the night before. And it is because of attachment.
Fortunately, it did not rain when I was going to the company (even though it mr cloud was in bad, dark mood).
I was worried about how the people at the company will be like. Luckily, everyone I met so far was friendly, helpful and quite lenient on certain rules. And and there is another classmate under the same supervisor, which makes the work less boring (which can be very boring esp since nothing much to do initially).
Wonder how others are faring. I am under the department New Business Underwriting. It is an operation department. Sort of a go between for agents, actuarial department, marketing and sales, financial department. Sounds like fun. Hopefully will get to do more interesting and important task. haha..
Fortunately, it did not rain when I was going to the company (even though it mr cloud was in bad, dark mood).
I was worried about how the people at the company will be like. Luckily, everyone I met so far was friendly, helpful and quite lenient on certain rules. And and there is another classmate under the same supervisor, which makes the work less boring (which can be very boring esp since nothing much to do initially).
Wonder how others are faring. I am under the department New Business Underwriting. It is an operation department. Sort of a go between for agents, actuarial department, marketing and sales, financial department. Sounds like fun. Hopefully will get to do more interesting and important task. haha..
Friday, May 11, 2007
twist and turn of life
Fate had a way to play joke on helpless living beings.
In uni, there is an attachment programme. 2 supervisors will be assigned to a student where one will be from the organisation attached to, and one is a professor in uni.
There is nothing much to be said about the one from organisation since I would not know anyone from there. However, the professor from uni is quite interesting.
It appears that it is the same professor who fang fei gei on me and my friends. I was practically laughing at the irony of it. My trust for the professor is at bottom low. Now, I am supposed to entrust the professor into handling my attachment affair and problems. I am so going to hope that nothing unusual arises during my Attachment (nothing unusually bad, that is).
Attachment starting next week and will last for 10 weeks. However, most of the student feel that organisation take in students with low or no expectation, aka office boy/girl. Again, there is no way to verify this unless I am in it. Hope for the best... the best..
In uni, there is an attachment programme. 2 supervisors will be assigned to a student where one will be from the organisation attached to, and one is a professor in uni.
There is nothing much to be said about the one from organisation since I would not know anyone from there. However, the professor from uni is quite interesting.
It appears that it is the same professor who fang fei gei on me and my friends. I was practically laughing at the irony of it. My trust for the professor is at bottom low. Now, I am supposed to entrust the professor into handling my attachment affair and problems. I am so going to hope that nothing unusual arises during my Attachment (nothing unusually bad, that is).
Attachment starting next week and will last for 10 weeks. However, most of the student feel that organisation take in students with low or no expectation, aka office boy/girl. Again, there is no way to verify this unless I am in it. Hope for the best... the best..
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Home sick
Yes, I was literally sick when I am home. It all boils down to sleep deprivation.
I can't sleep with my parents because I will not be able to sleep with my father's snoring. I cannot sleep with m grandma because I am afraid that I will make sound and awaken her. Hence, I cannot sleep well in both the rooms for sleeping in my house. It got so bad that I have to resort to sleep downstairs in living room.
sigh.. now I am back in Singapore and recuperating. It sounds so weird. Normally people recuperate at home but I recuperate in a rented room. haih...
Fortunately, my short stay at home was enjoyable for my parents. Hahah.... we spent hours and hours watching the series - 天龙八部。naturally, I was bombarded with questions about who is the person in black, why they do that, what happen next etc etc... Fortunately, I read the story book more than 4 times and am able to remember the storyline. However, I kept mum on important things that will be a spoiler if I spill it too early.. haha...
I guess I did have quality time with parents. but not quantity. ah well... life is like that.
I can't sleep with my parents because I will not be able to sleep with my father's snoring. I cannot sleep with m grandma because I am afraid that I will make sound and awaken her. Hence, I cannot sleep well in both the rooms for sleeping in my house. It got so bad that I have to resort to sleep downstairs in living room.
sigh.. now I am back in Singapore and recuperating. It sounds so weird. Normally people recuperate at home but I recuperate in a rented room. haih...
Fortunately, my short stay at home was enjoyable for my parents. Hahah.... we spent hours and hours watching the series - 天龙八部。naturally, I was bombarded with questions about who is the person in black, why they do that, what happen next etc etc... Fortunately, I read the story book more than 4 times and am able to remember the storyline. However, I kept mum on important things that will be a spoiler if I spill it too early.. haha...
I guess I did have quality time with parents. but not quantity. ah well... life is like that.
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