I realised that I was in prison and may still be in it for some time.
A prison that confined my and block my interaction with people around me.
A prison that was set up unintentionally by myself.
which was influenced by the environment that I am in.
where I lived alone in the whole unit.
I got so used of being alone that I forgot what it is like to be in a group. sigh..
Maybe it is because of survival instinct.
Many things I do are viewed upon as weird.
Eg: Looi Sing!!! you know how to sew? Are you sure you are a guy?
(the thing is, since sec school, both parents busy working. If I do not learn to do it myself I would have not enough uniform to wear.. )
Eg: Why you so quiet?
(since pri 6, I have been lonely. brothers all in different sessions. parents all working. During that time I was afraid of thunderstorm. Especially when lightning caused a blackout.. I hugged my legs and sit in a corner for hours until the sky lights up or parents come back. I had to get use to loneliness, quietness hopelessness, etc etc to survive.)
Ah well, but all those are over. I shall open up more!!!
